The Only Weapon In the Room by B Baskerville

Author:B Baskerville
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: B Baskerville
Published: 2021-05-11T00:00:00+00:00

- Chapter 20 -

'Why did it have to be Jesmond? I fuckin' hate Jesmond.'

Luke Mar was a vision of tanned skin wrapped up in colourful clothing. A pair of salmon pink jeans stretched and strained around his hulking thighs. Over his ballooned chest, he wore a neon green t-shirt that turned purple when you touched it. Athena knew this because the first thing Luke said to her when she picked him up was, 'Hey Foxy, squeeze my pecs.'

Kris and Athena jumped out of the TT's front seats and watched as Luke squirmed his way out of the back. He looked like someone had taken an orang-utan to a fancy dress party, and the theme was 80's pop stars. The three of them surveyed Glastonbury Grove, a wealthy street set back a few metres from leafy Jesmond Dene. The road was lined on both sides by large houses, expansive driveways and expensive cars. Impressive trees of green and purple tunnelled the street, allowing the sun to filter through in narrow beams, speckling the tarmac with early evening light.

'Posh wankers,' sighed Luke, eyeing the wrought iron security gate of a nearby house. 'I swear to God, last time I was on Osborne Road, I overheard one precious, privately educated snowflake complaining that she'd have to get the train home that summer 'cause Daddy won't send the helicopter. Eight miles from Shields; you'd think it was another planet.'

'Hey!' Athena jabbed Luke in the ribs. He doubled over, and a small patch of purple blossomed in the neon green. 'I'm one of those privately educated posh wankers.'

Luke straightened up and put an arm around her. It was heavy, as if someone had dropped a python over her shoulders. 'Aye, but then you met us reprobates, and we dragged you to the dark side.'

'Yeah,' smiled Kris. 'The dark, dark world of cage fighting. A world of sweat stains, black eyes, and ringworm. You know it's not too late to switch back to ballet.'

Athena shrugged herself free of Luke's arm and switched her feet back and forth in what was referred to as the Ali Shuffle after boxer Muhammad Ali. 'I wouldn't swap it for the world.'

'As if we'd let you leave,' joked Luke. 'Now, which of these bloody mansions belongs to Monty the Motivator?'

Athena scanned the street before pointing at a set of metal security gates. 'That one.'

She pressed the button next to the gate. A noise drew her attention upwards, and she found herself staring into a camera. The camera whirred and turned its attention to Kris and then Luke. There was a brief buzzing before the gates slid silently back to reveal a pristine lawn and a silver Bentley.

'Nice,' said Luke with a whistle. 'This Monty's not short of a bob or two.'

'Not sure about his taste in garden ornaments, mind you,' said Kris. He picked up a garden gnome sporting a mankini. 'And how did this gnome get hold of your swimwear, Luke?'

Luke belly laughed and picked up two other gnomes and rearranged them to make it look like one was doing unmentionable things to the other.

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